Perfectly Infuriating
by CassidyS34
Summary: It's basically a family discussion. There was supposed to be an actual problem, but I couldn't come up with one. It was supposed to result in an argument, but didn't get there either. It kind of just came out this way, and I decided to just go with it.


**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

Bianca Montgomery had never imagined that one person, aside from the flawless Erica Kane, could be so perfect yet so infuriating at once. Of course, she had a different kind of love for this woman than she had for her mother. The woman in question was exasperating in only a few different ways, but that's what happened when you start living with someone for the first time, right? You get to know each other more intimately than you did before. You get to find out each other's quirks. Come what may, you were stuck with that person because you were living with them, so you had to get used to those quirks, whatever they were. Good or bad. But Bianca was happy to be stuck with this woman. She was over the moon about it. She welcomed the infuriation and frustration. It was the good kind. It was the kind that inspired shameless flirtation, witty, covert sexually-charged banter, and provided the perfect excuse to _make up_ for the time spent _arguing._

The woman with whom Bianca was exchanging playful, verbal assaults (often followed by favorable sensual physical assaults) was her ideal sparring partner. She was her ideal partner, period. Marissa Tasker was always up for the challenge. It was most likely the lawyer in her that made her the _never back down _fighter that she was. It was the reason for her winning streak, too. But it was her stubborn, _I'll do what I want, to get what I want _attitude that continued to make their _arguments _a staple whenever they ate in. Bianca was starting to suspect that Marissa was making this trouble on purpose.

It didn't matter if either of them cooked, if Kendall or Krystal brought them a home cooked meal, or if they ended up getting take-out, Bianca—with AJ Chandler as her assistant—always ended up washing the dishes. Bianca was happy to be master executor of that chore. She treasured the time spent with the incredibly cute, incredibly animated, blond haired boy. It provided alone time for just the two of them to build on the foundation of their relationship, so complaining about it was not even near the realm of possibility. Bianca rather enjoyed the time spent doing this mundane chore with AJ until…

Bianca drew in a breath and held it as she looked down at her assistant. He had his lips pursed together, trying not to laugh because he knew what was coming. It happened every single time they tackled this task together.

"Any last words?" Bianca asked AJ as she touched her finger tips to the switch of the garbage disposal.

He smiled optimistically, and shook his head. "Mommy didn't do it this time. She knows to be careful. I just know she didn't." The boy sounded sure. He had faith in his mother.

Bianca returned a look with a raised eyebrow that said, _I hope you're right, kid._

With her fingertips, Bianca applied a bit of pressure to the switch of the garbage disposal. It gave off the sound of a difficult churn, like it was trying to accomplish its intended purpose, but couldn't quite get there. It almost sounded like large shards of glass being blended together. That was followed by a few sputters of effort and then a low hum of resignation—it had, once again, disappointed its users. But Bianca couldn't fault the machine. She knew better.

She sighed and shook her head as AJ erupted into a fit of laughter. As much as Bianca wanted to display the appropriate amount of irritation, she couldn't help but laugh too. When the boy laughed, she laughed.

"Every time," AJ correctly remarked as soon as their laughter subsided.

_Every damn time, _Bianca repeated in her head.

"AJ, would you—"

"I know the drill, Bianca," AJ said, interrupting her request as she jumped down off his step stool. He took off running in the direction of the family room, and Bianca soon heard him shout, "Mom, you're in trouble!"

The part of Bianca that loved to see AJ finally happy was thankful that Marissa sometimes pulled these stunts. After JR had been sentenced to a somewhat lengthy prison sentence for multiple counts of attempted murder and restraining order violations, the blond haired, blue eyed boy had become withdrawn and depressed. He had missed his father terribly and just couldn't understand why his dad could do such a thing to cause the separation between them. Marissa and Bianca—with the help of Miranda, Gabby, Krystal and Tad—had done everything they could to restore some normalcy to his life. But it turned out that only time and a constant outpouring of love and support were required to bring the charming little boy out of his shell once again. It didn't hurt that his mom was the source of hilarious moments of _moving pains_, and a trouble maker in her own right, often involving her son in those antics. However, as humorous and appreciated, and suspiciously coordinated as those stunts were, Bianca was always the clean-up crew while Marissa just sat back and enjoyed the spoils of her pranks.

_No more, _Bianca had decided as she readied herself for what was about to ensue.

Moments after he left, AJ came bouncing back into the kitchen, taking a stand of solidarity beside Bianca on his step stool. Marissa, holding Gabby in her arms, followed him, and Miranda followed her.

"No fair!" Bianca exclaimed after the five seconds it took her to realize what Marissa was doing.

Gabby was sitting contently in her arms, playing with one of Marissa's pigtails. She was oblivious to the fact that she was being used to deflect frustrations and ease tension. Her one and only job was to be cute, and she was an expert at it.

Miranda stood by the door as the amused spectator.

"You called?" Marissa asked, feigning ignorance and innocence.

Marissa's gaze met Bianca's with playful challenge before a sweet smile spread across her face. As Bianca watched Gabrielle rest comfortably in her girlfriend's arms, she couldn't help but admire just how much her girls had grown to love Marissa like a mother in such a short space of time. Likewise, it warmed her heart at how much Marissa had become invested in her girls' happiness. Bianca had almost completely forgotten the reason she had summoned Marissa to the kitchen in the first place.

But then she heard the forced, difficult churn, the sputter, and then the low hum of the malfunctioning garbage disposal and was quickly reminded. She had to remember to thank AJ for throwing his mother under the bus later.

Just as Bianca was about to open her mouth to speak, Marissa beat her to it.

"What did you do to the disposal?" The redhead asked with mock disapproval.

Bianca heard both AJ and Miranda gasp. She could see them both trying to suppress giggles.

"Me?" Bianca managed to get out through her surprise.

_Marissa was certainly a clever one. _

Bianca turned to her partner in crime because her words were failing her. She couldn't believe Marissa had turned it around on her before she even started with her accusations. "Come on, buddy, back me up here."

AJ resumed a serious expression, nodded once at Bianca, and gave her a knowing look before he turned his gaze to his mother. "Give it up, Mom. Bianca and I know you did it. Confess," AJ demanded, with a penetrating stare.

Bianca lowered her head, hoping to effectively stifle and/or hide the laughter that threatened to escape her. Her assistant had blown the argument for her. If she continued, she knew she would be fighting a losing battle.

Seconds passed, and Bianca could hear every little sound, courtesy of the silence in the room. She could hear the ticking of a nearby clock, the rattle of the blinds against the window by the sink, and the dripping of droplets of water on the sink bed. She could hear all of this as she anxiously awaited Marissa's reaction.

Marissa narrowed her eyes at her son, but kept her poker face in place. "Have you been watching CSI again, AJ?"

But AJ just rolled his eyes. He flipped the switch again, waited for it to produce the harsh noise, then turned it back off when he saw that Gabby had covered her ears with her hands. It might have been an intimidation tactic, so he probably was watching too much CSI on TV.

"Mom," AJ said to Marissa as if the parental roles were reversed. "Bianca and I both know you did it."

The kid was tough. Bianca had to give him that. Maybe he would pull them through it for a victory after all.

Marissa's gaze moved back and forth between her son and her lover. AJ was obviously not going to back down so she would have to work on Bianca to keep herself out trouble. She watched as Bianca gave AJ a proud look and a wink, and waited for the focus to return to her. She batted her lashes seductively at the woman when Bianca turned her gaze back to her.

"Can either of you prove it?"

"Yeah," Miranda chimed in. "Can you guys prove it?"

All eyes turned to Miranda, who—until that moment—had been independent and unbiased, never choosing sides. Bianca felt her jaw drop as Miranda moved to stand beside Marissa. Marissa offered her an encouraging look.

"Well?" Miranda persisted.

Bianca looked at AJ, and AJ returned a look that said, _tag—you're in._

"No," Bianca said, "We don't have proof. But you, honey, have a history of clogging up the disposal. It's only natural that we assume that you did it this time too. I mean, I didn't do it. AJ?"

AJ shook his head. "Nope. It wasn't me."

Bianca zoned in on her older daughter. "Miranda?"

Miranda looked up at Marissa apologetically, and sighed. "No, Mom."

_And last, but not least…_

Bianca took a couple of steps towards Marissa, and reached out her hand to rub Gabrielle's back. Gabby responded to her mother's touch by pushing herself out of Marissa's arms and into her mother's.

Marissa's eyes widened as she mouthed, _"Really?"_

Bianca wagged her index finger back and forth behind Gabby's back, and gave Marissa a wide grin before turning her attention to her adorable younger daughter.

"Baby?" she said gently to Gabby.

"Yes, mommy?"

"Did you break the garbage disposal?" Bianca could help but laugh as she asked the silly question.

Gabby looked confused, but unfazed. "The what, mommy?"

Bianca kissed Gabby's forehead."Never mind, honey." She gave her attention back to the rest of her family. "I think it's safe to say that's a no. What says you, AJ?"

"Yup." He sounded exceedingly proud of himself.

"So by process of elimination, I think…"

_Wait for it…_

"…No, I'm pretty sure we've found our culprit."

"Yeah," AJ added. "What Bianca said."

Marissa scratched her forehead, deciding that accepting the _guilty_ verdict was her only option at this point. She sighed in defeat. "Fine. But I didn't do it on purpose, and I honestly don't know how to fix it."

Before Marissa had even finished, a cheer erupted from AJ. He held up his palm for a high five. Bianca put down her daughter and crashed her palm against his, happily. _Success!_

"Good job, buddy." Bianca ruffled his hair affectionately, and he leaned into her for a hug.

"I had the best partner."

"The best?" Marissa asked her son, a twinge of jealousy coloring her tone.

"Don't worry, mom, I still love you. I'll even help you fix it," he assured her. "You just have to promise not to break it again."

Marissa contemplated her son's offer. If she was going to concede, she would have to do so on all levels. At least, she would try to. "Fine, but _if_ it happens unintentionally again, then I can't be held responsible."

AJ jumped down from his step stool and made a beeline for his mother. He grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the sink. "Okay. Now you need to apologize to Bianca."

Marissa's eyes met Bianca's and some flirtatious energy was being transferred between them. A tiny smile tugged at Bianca's lips. The woman didn't have one arrogant bone in her body, even though everything about her merited some, but Marissa could tell that she was trying to suppress a gloat. She finally had a victory under her belt. Marissa was proud of her girlfriend.

"Absolutely. I'll apologize to Bianca. But while I do that, why don't you and the girls go pick out a movie that we can all watch when we're finished in here?"

"Yay!"

Cheers came from all three kids as they marched… well, more like ran out of the kitchen. Both their eyes followed the kids out until they were out of sight, then their gazes found each other.

The subtle smile remained in place on Bianca's gorgeous face as she waited for her apology.

"You know, that would never have held up in court," Marissa said quietly as she slipped her hand around Bianca's waist.

Bianca reached up to play with Marissa's hair. "That doesn't sound at all like an apology," Bianca noted thoughtfully.

Marissa smiled, closing the gap between herself and Bianca. "How did you get so good at this?"

Bianca laughed lightly. "You're getting warmer. Try again."

Marissa licked her lips before bringing them up to Bianca's in a kiss. Bianca felt the _sorry _coming through the flow of love in the kiss, and felt herself, once again, fall under her girlfriend's enchanting spell.

"How was that?" Marissa asked, once they had parted.

Bianca did her best to shake off the dizziness, and to clear away the remnants of the kiss that was clouding her ability to produce useful thoughts and coherent sentences. Once she had that under control, she responded, "Better. I'm definitely starting to consider forgiving you."

Marissa pouted her lips, earnestly wanting to get show that she was willing to accept whatever _punishment_ that Bianca wanted to deal. "Darling, what do I have to do to put this behind us?"

Bianca smoothed her hand over Marissa's hair, and placed a tiny kiss on her nose. That was accompanied by a mischievous smile. "I think you know."

Marissa really hadn't meant to clog up the disposal; she knew how much it frustrated Bianca. But if this was going to be the outcome after every similar incident, then she figured that she may as well make it habit. She couldn't wait to make it up to Bianca.

_Why, oh why had I suggested that movie, _was her final thought.


End file.
